Veni, Vidi, volo in domum redire

Even when I was in Kashmir, I never felt that strange pull that I feel now. I never felt that sudden desire to break all barrier and run to my roots. I never felt that deep desire to run across those dusty roads once again, I never closed my eyes and remembered the sparkling water like aluminum foil on the sunny afternoon, cruising through the Boulevard on my bike.
I never missed the round, slippery stones, covered with lichens, swashed under my feet, cutting through my skins while having fun with my friends at Pahalgam. I believe my soul slept under the enthusiasm of youth or teenage or maybe it was to bewildered by the bright of the city life that it stopped talking and stopped demanding anymore.
I never realized that here, miles and miles away from my land I will be tied down to roots again. I cannot recollect how many times my present blurs away and I see those downtown streets with jam packed dwellings.

That star studded night with bright stars and hazy nebulas and the crescent of moon peeping in from that poplar tree that rose too high from our neighbour's house. How many times I would taste the food on my tongue which my mom brought to my school.
I look outside my office window many times and I see those huge buildings and busy street staring at me and I feel lonely in my heart. Empty of those careless days, empty of those no-expectation and no-expecting days. When I was a nobody and nobody wanted anything from me. When I would just run around my whole locality playing with mud and collecting toys and freebies in my pocket.
That’s the only childhood I remember, I don’t remember a single thing other than my class, my school, our kitchen garden that helped us in tough times, a part of my home, part of those friends.

The world has changed so much and so have I. I have not been to my old home for long. I wish and still feel that everything will be what it was when I left them all. Same people smiling at me, the old house, even older poplar tree hovering all over the house, my bicycle, those same friends. But I know that it will not be the same. Still I want to be there. I want to feel that mud again on the sole of my feet. I want to be with nature again. I want to be with my roots again.

I just have few words to say "Veni, Vidi, volo in domum redire" - I came, I saw, I wana go home!